starzero ([info]arollercoaster) wrote,
@ 2007-09-12 09:35:00
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Current mood: loved
Current music:sonarchy radio
Entry tags:poem

Dove open chocolate hearts
the physical breath
a slow twisting of meaning
i'm going out for coffee
with my new worst enemy
because lovers should hurt you
before you get to know them
the scars and the scratches
damning little bruises
hidden under a veil
of trouble and restlessness
i won't regret
this fine kona blend
my new hawaiian mistress
looking up through the glass
writhing naked under the table
round chocolate lips
when she slithers up to kiss me
i'll have heaven at my fingertips
and when i go home tonight
my true heart already asleep
i'll shower off the fingerprints
so i can be hers again
though we brook no secrets
details sometimes fall through cracks
i don't want to forget anything
because i know i won't go back
tomorrow night more coffee
more chocolate liquour
this time with my true love
to prove who is truer


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[info]arollercoaster
2007-09-12 02:51 pm UTC (link)
don't you just love when i start something not knowing where it is going then surprise myself with a vivid little story? put differently, don't you love it when the first few lines don't make any sense, seem unfocused and meaningless, then a sudden clarity strikes and you finally have a poem? i wonder whether i should chop off those first few lines, or rework them so they tie together better with the rest of the poem. i think it would get longer, because i'd want to keep, and possibly explore, the concept of lovers hurting each other before becoming intimate. suggest a deeper reason for that. or at least build a better bridge, a better transition, between that and the mistress.

i really like this one. it feels passionate and real to me. like i mean it.

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