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the tortured poet remembers where he got his start
i've lost the romance of silver morning dew i've lost the excitement of disovering someone new and i've lost the dream i once had of you teardrops on the stereo we all circle around the sun i'll spin this circle again
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91.4%
finishing lines of coke i'm waiting for the rush to come eventually the powder sets in and i'm on the flight to rome suddenly i'm earthbound headed down a narrow chute into the headache darkness the heat of a raging mood i'm flash-bang against the sky a shower of rockets and lightning her voice calls but i'm high take off your shirt we're fucking unlined now the world tumbles out of highball glasses clattering on the counter air thicker than molasses camera-eye pivots to me must maintain my focus a bomb explodes the entire city i reach in my pocket but it's broken now your hands shake for mine and i have a green jacket smoking italian cigarettes on a table by an old mattress this idle conversation strikes me as sudden unnatural let's find a band to jolt us more wine in a bigger bottle how much is real and what's drawn from what you tell me i can't remember the past thirty days but my head's under mariana we'll jukebox the whole night and i'll feed you crackers in the morning this photograph confirms it 6.3% isn't made up stories
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how to explain where i am, and where i could be
why am i always caught under thumbs and fingernails never standing over the future controller master of a universe built by my own two hands writing about how i want to be i'd be i'd be free
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the things you hate turn me on
why can't we get lost in hands and legs and friends and hurricanes tied up in the back room with the rest of the grand dames giving out tickets to the if monsters and predators for any time you want me when we check the pictures tracing your name creamy vanilla pudding oh my fucking god now if only you'd let me
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the long fast train home
get back on the train this ride takes us home over an uncovered bridge through shouts and moans we could have had fights dogma and dirty milk bars instead we have thirty-two beds on four sleeper cars preferred treatment on the bullseye line laying a new wood floor could save a lot of time high speed bullet coasters re-routed through downtown place us within seconds of never having to look around would you bother to linger longer with me or should i infiltrate alone this reconstructed property
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a cry for something to happen
this is not a cry for help it's a cry for something to happen shake out the nuts from the trees crack open the sky and rain tear apart these city streets something to make a change a life spent in a rainbow bubble i can't sleep but i'm shielded and hollow pulled all my pain inwards never let it escape my heart has the strongest gravity denser than black holes and twice as hungry i'll suck the life out of you out of everything i see make something glorious dull pull the light out of this city maybe it's time to stop waiting maybe it's time to do it myself shatter the illusions of nothing take matters into my own two hands
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reflection of a memory
if i could smile my own smile and not shine with teeth that echo his own laughter and bitter stories about working for some maniac in a three-piece maybe i'd feel more self-worth as i wait for the doctor to see me now an hour in the cloaset dancing for the hooded lights can't find razors in here can't find the voices impossible handcuffs keep me still for now i'll find the key soon enough transcend for another day then back to the office one hour at a time cutting up my soul and selling it to the poor spread the poison around let the world konw my pain never allowed to hold my own hand when crossing the highway racing by train tracks through my mind never stop the rails laid in the middle of the night i heard that lecture before from my own mouth to my own child i am but an echo a reflection of a memory living someone else's life all over again how do i pull the wires out of my head tear that memory unmade directly from the bed talking doesn't take me back to the day crying in the kitchen i could only say "okay" but did i ever listen did i ever learn only to repeat what he said and did i become a mime unable to form my own face will i ever be me
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indestructible
i am sorry that i still worry i still sink in joy and fury so much to live so much wasted i can't give when i'm this lost i can't even think enough to dream can't even breathe enough to sleep if i could be alone i would slit my throat the rope would slide through my fingers and catch my short fall wouldn't you be sorry for leaving me air you should have taken it with you if you really cared these words spin like quarters across my blank mind catching the light from a moon low in the sky a pale sliver just after sunset see how it follows the tide in and out watch me ebb as my heart gives what you wanted was a kiss goodnight a finger of support to guide you this storm subsides and i swallow the pills drink down the bottle with an arsenal of strychnine did your decoder ring find you the answer or have you lost faith in my invincible nature indestructible against my wishes i'll have to be remade impurities have surfaced in the cloudy water beneath the murky surface faint glimmers shining coins reflective strips of shredded faith still giving light how can this empire be constructed with hope for something gentle and loving still waiting to be made real
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maybe we collide
when a sentence doesn't finish of its own accord i have to believe that something has gone left unsaid somehow the silence between two charged poles insinuates a tension that no one wants to feel i'm grounded and you're golden the scar across the sky when i kneel to speak to angels they murmur incompletely heaven ascends on porcelain and silver towers besides ivory is for the chosen but only the humble can ride you have released the doves tiny filaments of light if i turn up the current
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carnivorous
did your lips ever turn blood red as though biting necks pretend to be nosferatu the undead who hunt colors run from canvas shoes camelhair coat you a wilderness lover
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o bliss o heaven
o sweet o many hands in memory lips in sugar milk & honey fantasy o bliss o trembling o golden o heaven
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when first i met you
when first i met you i was shading naive couldn't even kiss just rub my lips on your sleeve and then you sang to me her handwriting on my arm when next we met was couldn't have been her story in the woods when we meet again but you won't be singing her face in the photograph time and space say it isn't so
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never over
i may be little more than a tangle of remembered phrases symbols shorn of their meaning dreams that never amount to anything but sometimes i feel a shiver of a promise slowly dying and share with it my oxygen because this bird should be flying i may be obsessive about lines and character placement the fact is i'm all right giving you the knife edge i don't know whether i once said forever would have meaning but i'm telling you now so you will know this isn't the ending we'll sleep together under the stars in some far away place sharing our swollen hearts as we fade into the sky though today i may be silent and tomorrow i'll have nothing to say you can't say we're through because i am not through with you
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wake up call
good morning my old friends it's nice of you to call ghosts of past tragedies i thank you one and all here's the sun in all her glory followed by stormy skies and the queen of raging seas lightning flashing from her eyes next the goddess of the soil who once buried me in clay they come here for vengeance and what else i cannot say to each of you i bid welcome for some it's been a long time i can't imagine why you've returned my actions were never crimes this time i won't run i'll face all your fights from earth to air to fire we'll set the world to rights
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champagne tears
see my sails flutter and fall all the wind gone out as i stop talking as i close my mouth i can't hold my breath for ever you'll be there see me prick myself all the poison i produce and can't you tell all my world is pain and you know i'm still a liar all the world is pain and i'm faking it
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something precious
something precious held too long a dream in porcelain echo of a love song blown from my hands on a sudden gust birds sing my sorrow wind stirs the dust this cloudy grey reflects my eyes rain masks my tears thunder drowns out my cries the tortured poet i think you know him lost himself once more to a foolish tragic whim
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pieces for the past
is this the place where you spend the emotional i told you so show me the error of my ways then disappear into the ether is this where you decide do you ever wonder what can't we just for once pretend
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terrible water song
when you whisper in the water and i hear you in the night i'm sorry but there's nothing i can do to make it right the astral projector has broken down you won't see me in your dreams or shadows hanging around however much i want to the devil won't hear my cries not that you would notice i don't show up in your eyes if i were in distress would you even notice if i were flashing and screaming would you do anything would you even know if i disappeared the silence and the distance are too much to hear
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sucker
another example of hopes and dreams pulled from my grasp how can i feel when all of my plans go up in smoke to love to breathe to want for a future out of my control it's all the same all gone away just to see you again was all i had asked but what do i get an empty hole and the same old feeling that i can't be trusted pull my leg play your games let me down the long and the short all that i want leaves
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a starlight girl
becky wasn't just a starlight girl she was a subtle mystery song on a string of pearls behind the screen door she watched the world let summer slip through her glittery fingers then night came and it was back in the sky with her hallowed ground wherever she shone through the leaves i could watch the angels sing praises to th starlight girl alone whatever happened to those humid nights the sand in our fingers far from the searching lights a few moments of peace away from our lives then gone forever without so much as a sigh
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